5 minutes younger

At 55, I realize that there’s no way I am going to look years younger. Looking years younger takes lots of time – and lots of money.

Those brown spots on my face from the decades prior to sunscreen aren’t going away with fade creams. Fine, I’ll have a doctor laser them off. The sticker shock sends me running for the concealer.

I have half the hair I used to have. Half of that is gray, and therefore nearly invisible. I could color my hair, but what’s left still grows fast. That’s time and money – and gray roots. Gray roots make you look older than full-on gray hair. I give up.

I’m doing pretty well on wrinkles. Being overweight helps keep my face puffed up and smooths out the creases. Plus suddenly my hair is dry, my skin is dry. If I didn’t weigh so much I would blow away like a leaf in November. The excess tonnage is for safety.

Instead of futile attempts to look years younger, I take advantage of another perk of menopause. My short term memory is shot to hell. It’s a problem when I want to remember my grocery list, or the name of the person I was just introduced to, but it comes in handy when I want to look younger.  I hear pink makes you look younger. I splurge $8 on drugstore lipstick and smear it on. I look in the mirror. I don’t remember what I looked like just prior to the smear ‘o pink, but I seem more perky and fresh with my new pink lips. Therefore…I look at least 5 minutes younger.

I over-conditioned my crispy dry hair and now it’s limp and hanging in my eyes. I get out the scissors and make some “minor” adjustments. Never a good idea, and even worse now that I have half the hair I once did. So, a drive to Great Clips for a cheap haircut is in order. After a scalp massage that felt more like being mauled by a crocodile and a bit of frenzied snipping,  my freshly cut, damp hair is sticking out in all directions. So… I utter the fateful words “take a little more off.” Now I have a pixie cut. I am the world’s oldest pixie. Nearly bald, I decide to make the best of what’s left and comb the remaining wisps forward into bangs. Bangs make you look younger, right? Comb, spray, pouf, scrunch, spray, comb, spray, spray, spray – bangs! I walk away and come back to the mirror a few minutes later. I don’t remember what I looked like before the bang-o-rama experiment. Voila! I look at least 5 minutes younger!

Next, I’m heading to Target for a pink scarf that I feel has the potential to make me look a whole 10 minutes younger if I time things right…

What makes you look, or feel, 5 minutes younger? Comment here or shout it on Twitter!  #5MinutesYounger