the Pantone police

For decades, I have been trying to outguess, and outrun, the whim of the marketplace when it comes to what colors are “in”.  I’m constantly bitch-slapped by unseen forces who determine what color my world will be.

First the color cops seized control of my home décor. When I wanted clear petal pink, everything was dusty rose.  When I wanted barn red, the color of the moment was burgundy.  When I grudgingly bought burgundy, everything suddenly went barn red again.

Then the hue hobgoblins crippled my wardrobe.  Gray disappeared from clothing racks for nearly a decade.  I look good in gray.  Too bad.  Brown fell from grace as well.  But, I look good in brown.  Too bad.  Then gray came back with a vengeance as “the new black”.  It’s not the new black, it’s the old gray.  One year brown was crowned “the new black”.  These insane proclamations went on until one day black finally became the “new black” again.

In recent years, Pantone has gone so far as to proclaim just one particular color the “it” color for the entire year.   Everything in the marketplace suddenly turns that hue – clothing, housewares, everything. Last year it was some appalling color called Tangerine Tango.  I look dreadful in orange.  Lots of people look dreadful in orange, for that matter.  I bought an orange necklace to show that I was aware of the rise of orange but was limiting my participation to accessories.  That’s as far as I got.  I decided to wait it out.

For 2013, the Pantone color of the year is Emerald Green.  Every store now looks like the Emerald City at the end of the yellow (or Tangerine Tango) brick road.  I have lots of green in my wardrobe, none of it emerald.  I think emerald green looks good on emeralds, period.  They have also cleverly picked a color that looks ridiculous with last year’s Tangerine Tango.  Combine it with Emerald Green and you look like a pumpkin patch.

But, if someone wants to give me an emerald necklace, I’ll wear it while I wait for a nice blue-toned red to make a comeback.